I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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