i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
