It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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