That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
