the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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