bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
