If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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