Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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