Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
