Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
