Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
