I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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