At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
