I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
its liver damage thursday
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
