You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
