Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
