4 words: hood of his car
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
