Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
