nut hugger
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
