thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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