i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have post one night stand depression
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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