she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
