R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
