Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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