thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
