I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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