I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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