Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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