HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Small penises have feelings too.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
