So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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