I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
