We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just want nice things and good sex
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
