I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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