im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had to cum in my sink.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
