my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
