Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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