Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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