I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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