It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
