you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
