I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
