I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
