I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
