You can't motorboat a personality
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Houston, we have a blender
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
