He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
