Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
