What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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