Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
