found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
