it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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